I've got a debilitating hangover and a mindful of could-have-been's.

"Just so you know, I always get a little heartbroken when you leave......."

Yeah, that is a good way to ensure that you'll be on my mind for a while.

Wow. It hit me today that I've royally fucked myself. I left the life that I've always wanted to have, and now I don't have anything.

I want my old apartment back.
I want my old job back.
I want to be in my old band again.
I just want to go home.

Jesus Christ, I'm a fucking idiot, I can't believe I did this to myself. I've done some stupid things, but this far surpasses them all.

On the plus side, I did find the most badass place ever in Chico. As soon as the credit checks and whatnot go through it's mine. I'm happy about that. I guess right now I'm just going to try to block out everything that's been making me really depressed and focus on making Chico good.

But I'm still a fucking idiot.