It's a hard realization to come to that no matter how much you love someone, they are always going to end up as just another name on the list.

Does it always have to be like that?

October 6th

Lucas would have been 21 today. God damn that fat fuck for being 15 days older than me. And god damn him for not being around to turn 21. We're not going to be able to go drinking like we said.

Not a day goes by that I don't think about Lucas. I still remember exactly how he used to say, "Fuck you, Sloppy" to me and scream along with awful death metal songs in my car. No one could have taught me about cupcaking better.

I'm really lucky that I got to tell him how much he's meant to me throughout my life before he passed. I'm really lucky we got closer. I'm really lucky that I had someone as badass as Lucas in my life to look up to. I never thought that when I left him outside his dad's house it would be the last time I ever saw him.

Well happy birthday, Lucas. I miss the shit out of you.

Taking Advantage.

Someday she'll learn what I know, sweetheart.

A) That much eyeliner doesn't look good. It looks creepy.

B) You're not as special as think you are.

And at that time she can just join the club, while you find another younger bimbo to stick your dick in and mooch off of. It seems to me you've never gone for a girl older than 19, myself included.

Bon voyage, babe.

I'm going to the city for Lovefest this weekend. The more I think about Lovefest last year and about why I moved out of the city, the more I miss San Francisco. I really can't wait to go back this weekend.

I still don't know if it was worth it.